EVERYONE HAS BEEN TRYING TO GET A HOLD OF ME LATELY … I’M NOT IGNORING YOU GUYS …… I’VE BEEN SICK SINCE DECEMBER …… IN AND OUT OF MANY DOCTOR’S OFFICES AND CLINICS AND SOMETIMES THE HOSPITAL ….. NO ONE COULD TELL ME WHAT WAS WRONG OR WHY …..
THEY KEPT SENDING ME HOME, SAYING I HAD THE FLU OR MONO, BUT I WASN’T SHOWING SIGNS OF GETTING BETTER … AT ALL …… I HAD FEVERS OF 104 ALMOST EVERY NIGHT ….. IT WAS HORRIBLE! THANK GOD FOR MY MOTHER, BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WOULD HAVE DONE …….
ONE DAY I WAS FINE, AND THEN THE NEXT DAY WHEN I WOKE UP, I COULD’NT MOVE ….. MY WHOLE BODY ALL OVER WAS SORE ….. AND I COULD NOT GET OUT OF BED ……. THIS WENT ON FOR THREE MONTHS ……… AND I HAD NO IDEA WHY …. I WAS TOLD I WAS HEALTHY MY WHOLE LIFE……
IT MADE ME VERY SAD …. I COULDN’T WORK, DRIVE ….. OR DO THE MOST SIMPLE THINGS FOR MYSELF …… I STARTED TO WITHER AWAY ….. I LOST 20 POUNDS IN 6 WEEKS ……….
MY MOM TOOK ME TO LIVE WITH HER …… SO SHE COULD TAKE CARE OF ME, BECAUSE I WAS SO WEAK I COULDN’T EVEN GO TO THE BATHROOM BY MYSELF ……. ABOUT A WEEK AGO I WOKE UP WITH A FEVER OF 105 …… SO MY MOM GOT ME DRESSED AND TOOK ME TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM ……..
WHEN WE GOT THERE, THEY IMMEDIATELY ADMITTED ME INTO THE HOSPITAL …. I HAD PNEUMONIA …… A KIDNEY AND BLADDER INFECTION …… MY BLOOD PRESSURE WAS HIGH …… THE OXYGEN WAS LOW IN MY BLOOD ……. THEY PUT ME ON HEART MONITORS BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT I WAS GONNA HAVE A HEART ATTACK ……. MY BODY WAS ROTTING FROM THE INSIDE OUT …….
I WAS IN CARDIAC INTENSIVE CARE FOR THREE DAYS AS THEY WATCHED ME CLOSELY, BUT THE DOCTORS COULDN’T TELL ME WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME …… I HAD TO HAVE A BLOOD TRANSFUSION …….. AND A BIOPSY OF THE LYMPH NODE UNDER MY ARM BECUASE THEY WERE SWOLLEN ……. THEY THOUGHT I MIGHT HAVE LYMPHOMA, A TYPE OF CANCER ……..
THEY POKED ME SO MANY TIMES WITH NEEDLES, RUNNING SO MANY TESTS …… MY ARMS ARE STILL BRUISED ….. I COULDN’T SLEEP WHILE I WAS THERE ………. AND I COULDN’T EAT, SO THEY HAD ME EATING ONLY JELLO ALL DAY LONG ………. NOT THAT I HAD AN APPETITE, ANYWAY …… BETWEEN THE C.A.T. SCANS AND NEEDLES AND IVS AND HIGH FEVERS THAT WOULDN’T GO AWAY ……..
FINALLY, AFTER A WEEK OF WAITING AND WONDERING WHEN THE RIGHT DIAGNOSIS WOULD COME ALONG, THE DOCTOR CAME IN AND TOLD ME AND MY MOM THEY KNEW WHAT I HAD ………. I HAVE LUPUS ……..
AFTER THAT, THE DOCTORS INFORMED ME AND MY MOM THAT IF SHE HADN’T TAKEN ME TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM WHEN SHE DID, I WOULD HAVE DIED …….. IT PISSES ME OFF, BECAUSE FOR THREE MONTHS THE STUPID DOCTORS TOLD ME I HAD THE FLU AND IT WAS GONNA GO AWAY ….. YEAH!!! THANKS, DOCTORS ….. THOUGHT IT WAS THE FLU ….. HUMMMMMMMM ………
SO NOW I’M BACK HOME RECOVERING ……. I’M FINALLY ON THE RIGHT MEDICATIONS …. AND I HAVE TO START ALL OVER …… I FIND MYSELF FORGETTING SIMPLE THINGS …… BUT THEY SAY THAT’S PART OF THE LUPUS …… IT’S LIKE I’M A BABY STARTING ALL OVER …….. I DON’T KNOW HOW LONG IT WILL TAKE FOR ME TO GET BACK TO NORMAL ……. BUT I AM MUCH, MUCH BETTER ………
EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON ….. AND FOR WHATEVER REASON, THIS HAS HAPPENED AND IS HAPPENING TO ME …… I JUST DON’T KNOW ……. I JUST THANK GOD I’M STILL ALIVE …….
AND I JUST CHEATED DEATH ….. IT WASN’T MY TIME ….. I STILL HAVE LOTS MORE TO DO!!!!! SO I’M STAYIN STRONG AND IMMA KEEP FIGHTING CUZ THIS CAN’T HOLD ME BACK FROM NOTHING!!! IT’S JUST GONNA DELAY ME A LITTLE ……….
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